Did you know that one of the most effective traits of successful people is delayed gratification? Yep. It turns out that learning how to manage (without feeding) your every need to be satisfied can help you to thrive in all aspects of your life.
Yet, many of us go to extreme measures to be instantly satisfied and avoid pain in every possible way. But instant gratification is a huge source of frustration and teaches you to work from false expectations.
The truth is, navigating your life by the pleasure principle will not land you in a productive or meaningful space.
What Is the Pleasure Principle?
Yes, pleasure is central to our survival. Take food and sex, for instance.
Eating food is necessary to stay alive and sex enables us to pass on our genetic material. But they’re also both actions that are highly pleasurable for most. The problem occurs when they, or any other pleasurable activity, becomes the focal point of our lives. And we’ll do anything to keep the feeling of pleasure going.
In Freudian psychology, the seeking of pleasure and avoidance of pain to satisfy biological and psychological needs is known as the pleasure principle. This is the behavior displayed by infants and children. They want their most basic needs met and if immediate gratification doesn’t occur, you can bet you’re going to hear ALL about it.
Adults, on the other hand, have to develop delayed gratification and tolerate occasional unpleasantness to achieve goals and meet responsibilities. This is just how life works.
Finding More Purpose As We Age
Living in constant pursuit of immediate pleasure is a surefire recipe for disaster. Expecting that you’ll get that perfect job without paying your dues or that you can continually eat that second serving of fries and not suffer any consequences is not realistic. In essence, you become like a toddler again.
Healthy and mature adults grasp the concept that they will not always be gratified. And sometimes, life can be downright painful. But as far as hard times go, the only way out is through. This is the path that allows us to experience greater life purpose.
Whether you’re trying to lose weight, saving for a house/family, or dealing with a less-than-ideal job, the ability to delay gratification will yield major returns while helping you develop patience.
So it seems delayed gratification is almost like a superpower!
How You Can Develop Delayed Gratification
Fortunately, delayed gratification isn’t really a superpower. It’s a skill you can acquire with some practice. And we all have strengths for self-improvement. The following four tips can get you started.
1. Bite Off Only What You Can Chew
It’s going to take work to direct your brain toward delaying gratification. So you’ll need to start small. Rather than just denying yourself dessert, for instance, promise yourself you’ll wait three minutes to have it. The next day, you could push it up to four minutes. Incremental progress is a great way to build confidence and celebrate small victories.
2. Take Note of Areas Where Self-Control Is An Issue
Once you start grooving with incremental progress, it’s time to set some ground rules. Especially in the areas of your life where you’ve historically struggled to demonstrate self-control. Let’s say you’re an impulsive shopper. Rather than pulling out the credit card each time you see something you like, set a rule that you have to wait a certain number of days before you can. Or if you’ve spent several minutes debating whether you want something, skip buying it.
3. Acknowledge and Appreciate All You Have
When you’re able to take inventory of all that you have and practice gratitude around that, you’ll start reframing your situation. You won’t be denying yourself those fries at lunch, but rather noticing how grateful you are to have nourishment in the form of a green smoothie instead. The more you practice gratitude, the easier delayed gratification becomes.
4. Create Concrete Examples of Your Goals
If you’re saving for a home or working toward a healthier body, what can you do to remind yourself that this is the end goal? That THIS is the reason you’re developing delayed gratification? Perhaps you post a picture on the refrigerator of a healthy and happy person. Or maybe you have a type of house in mind you’d like and use it as wallpaper on your phone. When you can envision it, you’re more likely to choose the struggle of discipline over the ease of distraction. And that’s what delayed gratification is.
Seeking More Guidance On How to Delay Gratification?
While the above tips are a helpful launching point on your journey to develop delayed gratification, it can help to have someone cheering you along the way.
Contact us today to find out how our wellness programs and coaching services can help you grasp delayed gratification so you can get more from your life.
Every part of it.
