If you’re not sure about what qualifies as unhealthy coping mechanisms, you may not be aware that you have some.
This is in no way a judgment or criticism. Most of us have both healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms we’ve developed to help us decrease the side effects of stress.
And while healthy coping mechanisms allow us to grow and move on, unhealthy ones keep us trapped in a state of inertia and can even negatively impact your health over time. And that’s a problem.
What Are the Most Common Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms?
There are many factors that affect why you’ve chosen certain coping mechanisms over others. Cultural norms and personality traits come into play. But one of the biggest determinants is your past experiences.
Unhealthy coping mechanisms are often rooted in experiences you had as a child and teenager. These include, but are FAR from limited to, lacking good role models, being ridiculed, bullied, or stigmatized, regularly experiencing instability or violence, and repeated exposure to threatening stressors.
During these formative years, you developed strategies to provide quick relief from stressful situations. They worked so you normalized them. The problem is that unhealthy coping mechanisms either stop working or provide only temporary relief. And they often have serious long-term repercussions.
Some of the most common unhealthy coping mechanisms are as follows. See if any of them sound familiar to you.
1. Engaging in Negative Self-Talk
Do you excessively criticize or put yourself down? If so, you’re not alone. Negative self-talk is a very common coping mechanism. When you make a mistake, you might berate yourself. Or perhaps your inner dialogue is laden with “shoulds”. If so, this probably started as a protective strategy which has transformed into a maladaptive one. And chances are, it’s holding you back now.
2. Abusing Alcohol, Drugs, or Other Substances
Substance abuse is another very common negative coping mechanism. And it makes sense given that alcohol, drugs, or other substances can provide quick physical and psychological relief. This is a dangerous game though. Prolonged or excessive substance abuse can lead to prolonged mental health issues and/or lead to addiction.
3. Isolating Yourself
When you’re having emotional struggles, is your inclination to be guarded and defensive and close yourself off from the world? While you don’t need to attend parties and pretend you’re enjoying yourself, even minimal human interaction is nourishing and critical to growth. Cutting ties can lead to deepening depression and closes you off from healing opportunities.
4. Emotional or Binge Eating
If you head to the kitchen whenever you experience overwhelming stress, you may be trying to numb yourself and cope through eating. And while a couple of Oreos might initially make you feel better, an entire sleeve (or other excessive amount of any kind of food) can lead to a cycle of guilt, shame, and even self-hatred.
5. Overworking
One way that some folks deal with feelings of emptiness, lack of purpose, or disconnection is to pour themselves into their work. As with all other unhealthy coping mechanisms, this is a temporary way to avoid dealing with troubles in the other parts of your life. Unfortunately, those other areas (such as family, partnerships, and friendships) will suffer as a result. What’s more, you increase the risk of burnout – threatening your workalike as well.
6. Losing Yourself in Excessive Screen Time
Screens are so pervasive in our culture you may not recognize if you’re using yours as a coping mechanism. Sure, if you’re like most people, you may waste some amount of time on social media, gaming, or binge-watching. But if you’re not able to pull away from any of these long enough to tend to your work, relationships, and self-care, this is indicative of an unhealthy coping mechanism.
7. Procrastinating
If you have any perfectionistic tendencies, you may use procrastination as a coping mechanism to avoid doing tasks because you fear failure. By putting off these tasks, you can indulge in the fantasy of a perfect outcome. But that fantasy decreases your sense of self-efficacy and feelings of guilt and shame in the long run.
8. Harming Yourself
Of the many unhealthy coping mechanisms, self-harm is a particularly frightening and counterproductive strategy. If you regularly partake in cutting or burning yourself to gain a sense of control, you should seek professional help. Self-harm ramps up emotional turmoil and can become dangerous.
9. Acting in an Overly Aggressive Way
When the going gets tough, do you get angry? Depending on the situation, a little righteous indignation may be helpful. Over-the-top and inappropriate aggression, however, is not. If fact, it can lead to strained relationships and even push the people you need the most away from you. And this is counter to what you need.
Shifting to Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Examples of healthy coping skills include establishing and maintaining boundaries, getting regular physical activity, practicing yoga and other mindfulness practices, utilizing strategies such as deep breathing and meditation, making to-lists, and setting realistic goals.
Establishing healthy coping skills will help reduce your emotional distress during stressful situations. But moving away from unhealthy coping mechanisms and toward more adaptive strategies is a process.
You don’t need to do it alone. Contact us today to find out how our life coaching, yoga, meditation, and other mindfulness services can help you foster long-term psychological well-being.
